Beer Facts and some hilarious jokes....?

Beer Facts





It was the accepted practice in Babylonia 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" - or what we know today as the "honeymoon". Before thermometers were invented, brewers would dip a thumb or finger into the mix to find the right temperature for adding yeast. Too cold, and the yeast wouldn't grow. Too hot, and the yeast would die. This thumb in the beer is where we get the phrase "rule of thumb". In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's". Beer was the reason the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock. It's clear from the Mayflower's log that the crew didn't want to waste beer looking for a better site. The log goes on to state that the passengers "were hasted ashore and made to drink water that the seamen might have the more beer". After consuming a bucket or two of vibrant brew they called aul, or ale, the Vikings would head fearlessly into battle often without armor or even shirts. In fact, the term "berserk" means "bare shirt" in Norse, and eventually took on the meaning of their wild battles. In 1740 Admiral Vernon of the British fleet decided to water down the navy's rum. Needless to say, the sailors weren't too pleased and called Admiral Vernon, Old Grog, after the stiff wool grogram coats he wore. The term "grog" soon began to mean the watered down drink itself. When you were drunk on this grog, you were "groggy", a word still in use today. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle", is the phrase inspired by this practice.














The Famous Banta





Banta was bragging to his boss one day," You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Banta how about Tom Cruise?"





"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Banta and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough,Tom Cruise, shouts, "Banta! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"





Although impressed, Banta's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Banta that he thinks Banta knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Banta says.





"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Banta says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." At the White House, Bush spots Banta on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Banta, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and have a cup of coffee first."





Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House, he expresses his doubts to Banta, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies.





"Sure!" says Banta. "My folks are from Poland, and I have known the Pope a long time." So


they fly to Rome.





Banta and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Banta says, "This will never work. I cannot catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I will come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.





Sure enough, half an hour later Banta emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Banta returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side, Banta asks him, "What happened?" His boss


looks up and says," I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said," Who is that on the balcony with Banta?"




















* The Most Gruesome Death





There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into heaven. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the worst death would be allowed in.





The first man in line started telling his story, "Well, Peter, you see, I knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work one day to catch them in action. I got home and searched all over but I couldn''t find him. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the darn thing by his fingertips. So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him with it and he fell. Well, the fall didn't kill him, because he landed in a bush so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him. Although that killed him, the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am."





The next man came up and started his story. "St. Peter, I always work out on my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building. I was on my bike one day and I fell off when it flipped. I sailed over the rail and I thought ''Please God spare my life'' and he did. I caught on to a balcony below me. I was even happier when a man discovered me hanging there. But all of a sudden he started beating my hands with a hammer so I fell again. But the dear Lord saved me again when I landed in a bush. But I''m here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top of me."





It was now the third guy's turn to start his story. "Well, Peter, just picture this. I'm hiding butt naked in this married chick''s refrigerator....."























**Star and comment if you like**


**Bookmark it, I'd be adding some more hilarious jokes everyday till question is open**

Beer Facts and some hilarious jokes....?
Thanks for sharing some brilliant jokes.Great stuff,really.But I suggest that you can post each joke separately and get many stars for each question.
Reply:its ok/ star/ 4/10
Reply:3 tickets is awesumm:)


never heard it b4..well done mate
Reply:ohohohoh, All those jokes were good. they made me chuckle.





Cheers!
Reply:iv heard of the last joke , but the beer facts were awesome!!!
Reply:haha, i like the banta joke!

ben